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in search of mentoring

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Posted by Fiendish   USA  (2,525 posts)  [Biography] bio   Global Moderator
Date Reply #15 on Tue 08 Aug 2023 02:11 AM (UTC)

Amended on Tue 08 Aug 2023 04:50 AM (UTC) by Fiendish

I don't understand why dentists seem to be brought up alot in the mu*/MMO community though?

I'm not aware that they are. It's just something I know from experience that takes time to think through and you'll need down the road, which is what you asked for, and it was the first thing that popped into my head after reading your nebulous and nonspecific question because I'm going to the dentist tomorrow for a standard cleaning and find myself annoyed by the process every time I do.

The situation here, I suppose, is that most people come here with a clear and specific and, very importantly, actionable problem scenario; some people come here with an unclear but probably actionable problem scenario, and we browbeat them into clarifying their problem; and you came here without already having an actionable problem to solve in order to get someone else to come up with a list of problems for you in the first place and then also help you solve them. But this is your project, not ours, so having problems to solve is your job, not ours. So because I care about the things I care about and not inherently the things you care about, I came up with my own problem to solve for you.

Side note on what I perceive to be a weird and possibly repelling tone, which I hope also helps you find an audience. Take this with a grain of salt, because this is purely personal, but I'm spending all of this time saying it because I care about you...

I'm searching forums and Discords for someone who might just be outta the game long enough that the sight of some idiot popping in one day looking lost in clothes too big for him might just spark a 2nd wind in some jaded old fool to begrudgingly tag along to bark at me when I'm doing something wrong.

I can't say that everyone will find this kind of expression off-putting, but when I hear someone expecting that another person will "tag along" and correct their mistakes, I perceive that someone to be self-centered and socially unaware. The world isn't a YA fantasy novel filled with grizzled-but-paternal mentor characters written into existence to teach the young protagonist how to be a hero, and I personally find your talking like that awkward and vexing.

Nick, myself, and others here have dedicated literally decades to helping people with solving clearly-communicated problems because it's something we enjoy doing. We are the main characters in our own stories. Sometimes that help turns into labors of love. But personally, and I'm speaking only for myself here, I don't enjoy when people who need my help expect me to work for the opportunity to help them. Your project is not my project. The contract is that I'm here offering to answer clearly expressed questions about concrete and actionable problems. You come to me, not the other way around. So I want you to find your own problems to solve and questions to ask.

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Posted by Whoa Be Gone   (12 posts)  [Biography] bio
Date Reply #16 on Tue 08 Aug 2023 01:39 PM (UTC)

Amended on Tue 08 Aug 2023 02:42 PM (UTC) by Whoa Be Gone

sorry yeah I will. you're not wrong and I'm genuinely grateful for your time. I hope you're appointment goes fine. I thought that was maybe an inside joke or meme. it wasn't sarcastic at all for the record. and sorry I acted like this is just a blog and that it was creepy. idk why I thought some whimsical character was gonna be anything else than childish. I'm picking up what you put down and the self-centered thing in all that. I was tryna cover up just tryna avoid basically having to just go through the pain and risk of picking something to establish and find out if I made a mistake when it became apparent. not as an excuse to dismiss commitment to any task it takes.

since I read about it. and you pointed out writing and respect for a writer's audience. I'm just gonna do that Visualization Document I guess and see if it helps assess what I want and what to expect a MU* to shoulder?

^to myself for the record not the forum.
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Posted by Fiendish   USA  (2,525 posts)  [Biography] bio   Global Moderator
Date Reply #17 on Tue 15 Aug 2023 05:10 AM (UTC)

Amended on Tue 15 Aug 2023 05:11 AM (UTC) by Fiendish

I wish you the very best. Whenever you do figure out the concrete and actionable questions you need to ask, we'll be here to help.

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